Musings of a mother….

I went through a time as a teenager that was full of fear. Sleepless night after sleepless night, my days were full of darkness, sadness, uncertainty, dread. As the sun went down, my anxiety grew. Many a night my mom sat outside of my bedroom praying for me. If she wasn’t doing that, she was sleeping beside me; a sure beacon in my world of chaos. The sense of peace and assurance I felt when she was there next to me was unlike anything else.

Now as I’ve grown older, my husband has taken my mother’s place beside me. He is always there, a steady heartbeat to reassure me, a gentle response each time I wake him when I feel my burdens are too great to bear alone. And now I, without much to offer my children but love, get to be to them what my mother was to me. A steady heartbeat; a hand to hold in the dark; a soft touch to remind them I am there; a gentle shush after a bad dream.

Motherhood is hard. It seems there is something unexpected around every turn. I’m finding more and more that I am wholly unable to do this without my Father’s gentle and constant presence telling me to continue pressing on; hand to the plow. But even still, I don’t think I could quite put into words how it makes me feel that I get to be a mother. That I get to be there when they are scared, sad, disappointed. But even greater than this is that I get to point them to the One who can mend their broken and hurting hearts. Who can reassure them, without any doubt, that He is capable of protecting them and loving them without flaw.

Thank you, God, for mothers. And thank you for making me one.